Four in One

Maybe I'm just lowering my standards, or possibly I was just really irritable yesterday, but I've got four, separate mini-occasions to share from yesterday. None of them are really long enough to blog about by themselves, but together, I find them worth mentioning.

~~~

~ To start, I got to "play" with glass a lot. And by "play," I mean "clean up and prevent others from hurting themselves with it." One of the bulbs in a two-pack of long, florescent lights had busted and was pushed out of the way. Why no one else had the initiative to clean it up, I have no idea. After I'd done so and attacked the remaining pack (which still contained half the broken bulb and lots of glass) with lots and lots of tape, I placed the item in our designated basket of things that won't be put back on the shelves. When doing this, I moved a box of glass cups out of the way only to find that the box sounded as if someone had drop-kicked it across a football field. The folded cardboard had plenty of small exit points and nothing done to seal the container, either. It got attacked with tape, too. In the end, I succeed in avoiding any glass injuries on my part. Yay.

~ Next, I had another customer with a whole bunch of little things to return without the receipt. All of the items she had were things specifically known to get stolen... a lot. She must have lifted some of it from a different store, though, because half of the items wouldn't scan. Over-all, I declined the return with a big, fat "Nuh-Uh." We keep similar products of the ones that weren't in our computer, and I'd guesstimate them costing over $100 for the small handful. That's not even including the ones that I could check the price on. She had a total of around $160 in items we are just not allowed to take back without a receipt. The reason this attempted return is so mentionable is because she walked off without the bunch that wouldn't scan. Anyone who would have actually spent that much on those items wouldn't just leave them in the store. Ebay, friends, family, something would have been better than just leaving a legitimate purchase behind. She had to have stolen them and the fact that they weren't in our computer made them useless to her. Its as simple as that.

~ Also, in my list of Do's and Don'ts When Interacting With Cashiers and Customer Service, I specifically mention, in my list of Customer Service Don'ts, that it is disliked when customers, "Act as if [they've] been giving a blessing from God if there are no other customers in line when [they] arrive." Well, that's exactly what happened yesterday... multiple times. In fact, it bothered me enough that I started keeping count. Yes, I'm that awesome. The grand total is five. In one day, five separate people felt the need to mention that it was so great the service desk area was empty. It was raining ALL DAY!! It is a very consistent thing that much fewer people want to return something while its raining, or even shop for that matter. Think, people, think!

~ And, last but not least, I discovered a gentleman who could operate without his brain. I was walking back up to the front of the store when a pleasant sir approached me. He wanted to know where he could find plastic, outdoor, lawn tables. Assuming he's already checked, the only answer I felt I could give him was to, "look in the garden center area since that's where most of the outdoor stuff, short of sporting items, are kept. If they're not there, we probably hadn't gotten any in yet." When I mentioned this, his eyes lit up as if I'd just told him where to find the lost city of Atlantis. He had not, in fact, checked the garden center area. He didn't even know we had one. WHAT SUPERSTORE DOESN'T HAVE A GARDENING AREA!?!?

Shady Dealings

Unfortunately, when I made myself a note to remember to blog about today's story, I didn't mark what day it happened on. I am about 90% positive that it happened on Saturday, the 28th, though. When I arrived at the store, everything was pretty hectic. The cashiers' lanes were backed up and the service desk had a line. Making my way up to the counter, I also found that the two employees up there were only reserves who don't usually work returns unless no one else in the store knows how. So, of course, the moment they saw me, they finished the transactions they were working on and scattered like cockroaches under a bright light. It was going to be a great day.

~~~

~ Not long after I'd cleared the line that had built up and started straightening up my work area, a Spanish gentleman in a green shirt approached the counter with a question. He had a return to make, but without the receipt, he wanted to know if any of the forms of ID that he had with him were acceptable. As it turned out, he didn't have a driver's license or any other accepted, state-issued ID with him, so he asked if a friend could return his stuff for him. Mr. Green Shirt didn't have the items with him, so I agreed to have a look at them if his friend brought it in. Now, the reason why I specifically mentioned that he is Spanish is not because I'm racist or anything. Its just that his bi-lingual abilities will come into play later in this post, and I didn't want the information sneaking up on you. I also want to make a mention now that this gentlman seemed to be a bit of a fast, smooth-talker. He was definitely easy to understand, but the way he carried himself threw up a little warning signal in my head to keep on my toes.

When Mr. Green Shirt returned with two of his friends, a bag was placed on the counter for my inspection. None-to-my-surprise, the items inside of it were things that we are specifically not allowed to return without the receipt. They were little, expensive things out of the hardware section which are easy to pocket and walk out of the store with. Altogether, the 6 small items they were wanting to return amounted to roughly $60, after tax. Immediately, I informed them that I wouldn't be able to process the return without a receipt. Mr. Green Shirt frowned at this and told me that the women he'd spoken to earlier said that they would return the stuff if he got someone with an ID. I then quickly responded that their shift had already ended and that it was up to me to make the decision now, and not them. On top of that, I made sure to throw in that the only way I'd be able to refund the hardware is with a supervisor's permission.

Mr. Green Shirt slightly brightened at the thought of a supervisor and stated that one had already given the previous service reps the OK to process the return. As mean as it sounds, I would never take a customer's word on this. I'm not even allowed to take their word, and I didn't. He saw the skepticism in my eyes and, after a couple of seconds of thought, even told me the super's name. The priceless look on his face shone as if something had backfired when I then informed him of my intention to personally confirm with the supervisor of her decision and promptly exited the Service Desk area to find her.

The super he was referring to also happens to be of Spanish descent and, luckily, wasn't too far away. When I began explaining what was going on, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised that she actually was aware of the situation. She had, in fact, been asked about their return. That surprise soon evaporated into a sly realization when I mentioned her approval of the return. She immediately showed signs of anger and walked off in the direction of the service desk. She had not approved the return, after all.

As soon as my super had Mr. Green Shirt and his two friends in her sights, she immediately started going off on them in Spanish. It was so awesome! I have no idea what she was saying, but it was pretty obvious that she was denying the return for a second time. While she spoke, I slid back behind the counter and neatly collected their items back into the bag they'd been brought in with. After my super finished chastising the men and left, Mr. Green Shirt turned his attention back to me. He picked up the bag, leaned over the counter on one elbow and said in a lower, slightly frustrated, yet still smooth manner, "What'd you have to go and do that for?" All I could do was give him a shrug and a I-did-what-I-had-to-do smirk.

In the end, I don't know how much more obvious he could have made it that they stole the stuff short of coming out and saying it. He must have tried out his little smooth-talking act with the other two employees and got shot down. He may have even thought he was in luck to see the shift change. Too bad for him that no matter who is working at the counter, we still follow policy. So, he had the pleasure of getting shot down not once, but twice...in one day...by the same supervisor...the second time being in angry Spanish...so awesome...

2/21/2010... As Well

This experience also happened on the day after we got back from our trip, but yesterday's blog was long enough that I decided to make each their own separate post. I also created a visual aid for this one via my leet skills with Paint.

Enjoy!

~~~

~ A woman approached me with three items to return: a $7 pair of boy's jean pants and two, large $50 area rugs. Lo and behold, she didn't have a receipt for any of them. Because of the cost of the two rugs, I didn't have the authority to approve their return, so I scampered off to find a supervisor. By a stroke of luck, there was one nearby, and I quickly ran the situation by her. The super really didn't seem to like the idea, but she said that I could go ahead and do the return as long as I processed each item in a separate transaction. Returning to the counter, I informed the customer of my supervisor's decision and in my explanation, I made sure to make note that our computers only allow a certain number of returns for a specified period of time per any given ID number. Slightly to my surprise, the woman calmly understood this and seemed a little too proud of the fact that she "always kept her receipts" and that this would "be the first time she'd had to return something without one."

The pants, I would be able to process by myself, but the rugs would require a supervisor to physically come to the counter and type in their numbers to approve the return of them. Just in case there were any hiccups, I went ahead and started with the easiest item. As you'll soon find out, this was a very good idea. After quickly working through the return transaction for the jeans, I politely asked for the woman's ID. Upon receiving it, I immediately took note of the fact that the whole card had a large bend diagonally through it. Almost too conveniently, the bent plastic obscured one of the numbers that I needed to type in to finish the return. This is where my awesome skills in Paint come into play.

Yes, I know it doesn't look exactly like a Texas driver's license because I didn't intend it to. The dark gray line across it is, of course, to represent the obscuring bend in the plastic. The woman spoke up quite readily at my inspection of the card and stated that the last two digits of the ID number were 60.

Now, having had the "privilege" of looking at these IDs day in and day out, I will swear to you as I am breathing right now that those last two digits were 50. The "6" she was referring to had a definite straight top on it instead of a loop curving back down. She stuck to her digits when I mentioned that it looked like a 5, but I could tell that she wasn't going to back down. So, instead of arguing, I pulled out my ace-in-the-hole: I informed her that I could not accept the ID because the obscured numbers rendered the card invalid. Defeated, she gathered her things and left.

In the end, I truly believe that she was attempting to be fraudulent. For all I know, she may have been able to walk out of the store with those rugs without paying for them only to later try and return them for store credit. With a maxed out ID, she may have purposefully bent her card in an attempt to trick me. Whether one or both of those ideas apply to this particular woman is purely speculation, but both are still very probable.

01/03/2010

Today's blog is very special and stands alone from any other return I've had to deal with. Because of this, I'm posting it way early to give any early-risers a chance to read it A.S.A.P. and I'm cutting this intro short and just heading right into the story part.

~~~

~This woman had her receipt and wanted to return a $7 two-pack of vitamins and one of those big, plastic, $15 half-gallon jars of vanilla-flavored, food-supplement, drink-mix powder.... stuff. I always start off a return by asking if there is anything wrong with the item(s) so that I know if it can be put back on the shelf or not. She said that her "husband just wanted to return them," so I started things off with the drink mix because I wanted to check if the foil seal had been broken. It definitely had been. Not only that, but half of the product was missing. I'm no expert on what the stuff was supposed to look like, but what was left in the container looked like cornmeal.* Without saying anything, I looked up and gave her a What-the-Hell-is-Up-With-This look.

Its very convenient that she didn't mention anything before I opened the item, but afterward she was very forthcoming with information. She said that it, "was how [her] husband found it when he got home," and that, "he just handed it to [her] and told [her] to return it," because "it was bought like that." One of the store managers was conveniently a few feet away and had heard what was going on. He nodded that I could go ahead and return it, so I moved on to the other item she had brought.

The vitamins looked fine and unopened, but after seeing the drink mix, I took a closer look. I was rewarded for my efforts when I found a smoothly placed piece of scotch tape over one of the flaps. Both of the vitamin jars were in there, but I took the liberty of pulling both out to check their foil seal, as well. Woo and yay! Neither of the containers had their seal and both were filled with raw, black beans. Just to make sure you know that wasn't a typo, I'll type it again: both of the bottles were fill with uncooked, black beans. Come on lady! She rattled off her 'husband purchase' excuse again, but I wasn't really in the mood at this point to hear it and showed the bottles to the manager who was still nearby. Because what she was trying to get refunded wasn't a ridiculous amount, he went ahead and had me give her the money. He happens to play a larger part than some of the other managers in helping catch thieves in the store and it just wasn't worth arguing weather or not she was being truthful over $22 to him. He really just needed to see her face. Be it acts on my manager's part or just luck on mine, I haven't seen her again since.

So now on to my reasoning why I'm 97% sure that she was a fraud:

For starters-
The fact that she didn't mention anything was wrong with the containers until after I opened them is a prime indicator. When I ask if there is anything wrong with the item(s), any other customer that I've had who's purchased damaged or partial merchandise on accident will immediately state what is going on.
Secondly-
She was supposedly sent back to the store to return these items because they'd been opened prior to purchase, but both of the containers were made to look and feel like they had never been opened, period. Who would go to that much trouble unless they didn't want someone to notice the seals had been broken?
Finally-
I know that it is a very real possibility for some other customer to have swapped out and re-sealed these two items. Maybe they had even been returned to the store like that by an employee who hadn't noticed. It is not, on the other hand, a very real possibility for this woman's "husband" to have picked up both of these items on the same day in one transaction.

* I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it really had been cornmeal in the container. The coloring may have been similar to the vanilla power that should have been in it. Cornmeal is pretty dense too, so it felt about the correct weight. With the label on the jar covering all but the bottom, I probably wouldn't have noticed the lack of contents if I hadn't taken the lid off. Besides, why just take half of the stuff when you can just replace it with a cheap alternative?

12/24/2009

Today I'll be sharing one of the incidents that I've endured where the customer was being obviously fraudulent. These types of returns annoy me to no end with their irony. While the person is trying to be 'smart' and pull one over on me, all I can do is shake my head because the twit expects that I'm either too lazy or too stupid to catch what they're doing.

~~~

~A cheerful little woman approached my counter with the intention of returning an expensive, digital camera because she "bought the wrong color." She had the original packaging, she had the receipt, it was in the required return period, and I was looking forward to an easy return. The seal on the box had been broken, so I was obligated to look inside, make sure everything was in there, and also compare the serial numbers.

All the correct items were in the box, but I immediately took note of the fact that the physical camera was not the same color as the one printed on the package. This threw up a little warning flag in my head since I'm savvy enough with these items to know that those colors should match. Because of this, I took a moment to examine the merchandise a little closer. What I found was:

#1. The casing was riddled with small nicks and scratches.
#2. The serial number was so worn from the camera being used that I could only make out the last four digits.
#3. These four numbers were nowhere close to the ones printed on the box.

This woman really must not have expected me to open the camera, period. When I pointed these facts out to her, she tried to save face by acting surprised and saying something along the lines of, "Oh my gosh! I need to fix this" a couple times. She didn't even try to argue with me. It was pretty clear that she had put her old, scuffed camera in the box with the hopes of getting the money back for the brand new one she recently purchased.

12/21/2009

I'm going to be kinda sad when I run out of saved messages to write about. But until then, you can bet I'll be continuing to make regular blog updates. In fact, for the last few days, I've been taking the liberty of typing up my posts a day in advance (this one included.)

~~~

~On this fine day, a gentleman approached the counter with a DVD player and it's receipt. There was nothing wrong with the player, he had just decided he didn't want it anymore. Standard procedure for these types of returns requires me to compare the serial number on the box, the device, and the receipt to ensure that all three parts match.

>Both the serial numbers on the packaging and the DVD player did match.
>Both the UPC on the box and the one on the receipt matched.

Cool beans.

>The serial number on the package and DVD player, however, did not match the serial on the receipt.

That was a problem...
Joy for me.

If, for some strange reason, you are not fully aware of the purpose of a serial number, please click here.

Now, because the serial on his proof of purchase didn't match the item itself (in fact it wasn't even close,) I wasn't able to process the return. Our computers literally will not even allow the return without some type of override. Regrettably, the man insisted that the receipt he was showing me was, without a shadow of a doubt, the one he had been given when he purchased the DVD player. With nothing else I was capable of doing, I informed a supervisor of the situation.

At this point, I'm going to take the opportunity to describe the possibilities that one has to take into account when handling this man's case which include but are not limited to:

A. He is telling the truth (AH HA-HA HA! Fat chance.)
B. He found a receipt somewhere, or got one from a friend, that happened to be the same model player he already had in his possession, and now wanted to use it to get his money back.
C. He had the receipt from a legitimate purchase he had made and now wanted to use it to return a DVD player that was stolen or received as a gift.
D. When purchased, the scanner recorded the serial incorrectly.*
E. He simply had the wrong receipt and wasn't willing to admit it.

Being presented with the man's situation, taking into account any or more the aforementioned possibilities, and remembering store policy, she immediately refused the return, as well. Again, to my dismay, the customer was not willing to accept no for an answer. Now it was time to contact a member of management. It was also time for me to get really aggravated.

When the manager arrived at the counter, he took a grand total of about 5 seconds to review the dilemma, and overrode the incorrect serial so that I could give the man the money for it. When the manager did so, he said, and I quote, "I'm not in the mood to argue today." There are very few instances where I can say that I wanted to slap a co-worker more than a customer, but this was definitely one of them.


* I'll be the first to admit that it is definitely possible for a serial number to be recorded incorrectly. All it takes is a flaw in the bar code. In this man's case, not a single number and/or letter scanned from the pristine bar code on the box matched any of the corresponding numbers and/or letters on the receipt. The odds of it being scanned and recorded that incorrectly without giving an 'invalid scan' error are infinitesimal.

Day No. 3

To add a little more back story to my thought process, these first few rants that I've posted so far have all been notes that I made in my cell phone before I began writing them out and sending them in texts for my friends to enjoy. I may have mentioned them to a few people, but I don't believe these ones ever made it into text form. I really only kept them saved because they were amusing enough to remember for later and possibly make into a comic strip or something along those lines.

Overall this whole blog thing seems to be working out better than a comic, so I'm happy. I'm also proud to announce that, even though I'm still pretty far from getting up to the current date on these crazy work experiences, this first one coming up is the last one that I had saved in note form before I started texting them. I had also been moved to the service desk by this time.

~~~

~I can understand, when people buy expensive electronics, that they want to get the best deal possible. If an item goes on sale shortly after a customer purchases it, depending on the length of time involved, we can sometimes honor that drop in price to keep people happy. This one woman expected way too much.

She called in because she had purchased a PlayStation3, that it had gone down considerably in price since then, and she was wondering if she could get the difference back.

I asked about how much the drop was, expecting something around $15-$20.
Her answer: About $100.
I asked if she still had the receipt.
She did.
I asked the date when it was purchased.
Her answer: Almost a year ago.
At this point I'm thinking, "This woman can't be serious," but... she was.

So I get to explain to her that there's nothing we can do about a drop in any item's price that was purchased such a long ago and that the console was well beyond its return period to boot. Gaming platforms, just like any electronics, will always end up gradually dropping in price over time as new, bigger, and better technology is developed. Luckily she wasn't mad or anything like I might expect some crazies to be, but she still sounded like she was loosing out on her $100 when we ended the call.

~~~

Now on to the first of the text messages!
(This also happens to be the first situation noteworthy enough
to set motion my drive to share and save these beloved tales.)

11/21/2009
~A guy walked up to me at the service desk one day wanting to return a $22 set of padlocks without a receipt. Without that little thermal paper proof of purchase, all I need is a valid, state-issued ID to process. He was aware of this fact and already had his wallet in his hand. Once I get to the end of the transaction where the ID is required, he promptly took his driver's license out and handed it to me. Just a glance at it and I knew I was in for some fun.

The picture on the license had a beard scribbled over the face from the nose down, as well as horns on top of the head, all drawn in thick, black sharpie. It also wouldn't have taken a forensic scientist to notice that even the visible parts of the picture didn't look like the gentleman standing in front of me. Before I can mention that the drawings blocking out the face make the ID invalid, I look down at the bottom of it and get to say the best thing I've ever gotten to say to a customer so far:
"Sir, besides the sharpie, I see here that it states your sex as... female?"

Its obvious by his reaction that I caught him trying to pull one over on me, and most likely stole the locks in an attempt to bring them back them for a profit. His own ID was probably maxed on no-receipt returns, but still tried to cover his rear by saying that he, "must have picked up his girlfriend's on accident." That is, of course, all just speculation on my part, but I'd be willing to put money on my assumption that I'm right.